Your weekly dose of legal absurdity, courtroom chaos, and mandatory fun, now with extra billable hours. Let's get into it. ⚖️😂
You know what slaps harder than a summer anthem? A $10 million AI-generated streaming fraud scheme that landed a North Carolina musician in federal court.
Meet Michael Smith, not your average Spotify artist. From 2017 to 2024, this DIY Mozart allegedly used AI to generate hundreds of thousands of songs, then unleashed an army of bots to stream them into royalty gold. His playlist? Less "Hot 100," more "Hot 404."
The feds say Smith orchestrated wire fraud, money laundering, and a billion-bot ballet that netted him seven figures in fake royalties. Spotify caught on early (paid him a mere $60K), but Apple Music and others? Apparently vibed too hard.
Smith pleaded not guilty and hired the same law firm repping Diddy. Because if you're going to commit musical fraud with robots, you better lawyer up like a legend.
And if that's not wild enough, over in San Francisco, tech developer Michael Luo got slapped with a legal notice from DocuSign for launching an AI platform that autogenerates e-signatures. Apparently, his tool might "mimic" DocuSign's logic and infringe on its IP.
So now we're living in a timeline where AI can:
Why it matters:
These cases are a preview of what happens when copyright, fraud, and AI automation all pile into the same clown car. The courts now get to decide: Is this innovation or infringement? Genius or grift? Automation or audacity?
Either way, one thing's clear: AI doesn't just generate content, it generates case law.
#AIFraud #StreamingScam #DocuSignThis #FutureOfLaw
Texas is back at it, firing warning shots in the eternal culture war, this time at THC and porn.
Let's start with weed. Earlier this month, the Texas Senate passed SB 3, a bill that would ban all hemp-derived THC products, including delta-8, delta-9, and anything else that's ever been in a vape pen near an artisan candle. The bill made it all the way to Governor Abbott's desk, where he shockingly vetoed it.
Why? Because Texas has "no official position on THC gummies"? Not exactly. Abbott says the bill was too vague and could have banned CBD products for epilepsy patients. So while the Senate wanted a scorched-earth THC ban, the Governor decided it's better not to accidentally outlaw Grandma's pain relief drops.
Meanwhile, over in the Great Porn Purge, Texas is trying to age-verify the internet with laws requiring users to upload government IDs to watch adult content. Think that's extreme? Louisiana, Mississippi, and Utah have already done it. Because nothing protects kids from online smut like making parents upload their driver's license to Pornhub.
There's just one problem:
VPNs exist.
Also: Out-of-state servers. Encrypted DNS. Literally any teenager with a laptop.
So to recap:
Why it matters:
These regulatory crusades look great in campaign mailers, but in practice? They're digital theater. Until lawmakers realize the enemy isn't gummies or gigabytes, but governance-by-gesture, we'll keep seeing new laws that sound tough and do nothing.
Except maybe tank local businesses and create black markets for weed and... VPNs.
#TexasVsTheInternet #PolicyTheater #VPNWinsAgain #RegulatingVicesIn2025
If you're wondering why half the junior partners at your firm look like they're one bad client email away from a breakdown, here's why: They're not real partners, just highly paid middle managers with fancy titles and no equity.
Welcome to the Kirklandization of Big Law.
Kirkland & Ellis perfected the art of creating a massive army of "non-equity partners", lawyers who bill like maniacs, manage deals, and look like partners on LinkedIn, but don't share in the actual profits. And guess what? It works. So now other elite firms (Cravath, Paul Weiss, Skadden) are quietly copying the model.
The math is simple:
It's not a partnership. It's a title-based placebo that keeps associates grinding while shrinking the true profit pie to a handful of gods at the top.
Why it matters:
The equity ladder is now more Hunger Games than career path. "Partner" used to mean power. Now it might just mean you get your own billing code, and slightly more pressure-induced alopecia.
Meanwhile, clients pay more than ever, lawyers work longer than ever, and firms make it all look like progress, just with fewer people cashing the check.
#KirklandModel #FakePartnersClub #BigLawEconomics #ModernFeudalism
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